Yeah, Dr. Laura gave me the right stuff!

I was a Dr. Laura addict. Loved her opinions, mostly, though I did make it on a KFI promo saying, "I have a love hate relationship with Dr. Laura. Sometimes she is so wrong." It was kind of cool hearing my own squeaky voice on the radio. I remember telling my sister once that I took a break from her because I felt like I was always doing something wrong.
Since she switched stations at noon, I have listened only hit and miss. I still get her email updates, and when I saw "apology," I thought, "ooohh, what is she apologizing for?"
Then I heard her whole shtick and didn't really think much of it. I know having listened to Dr. Laura for 20 years, from meeting her and writing for her for a few months (really, I did) she is not a racist. She is like a bulldozer, I admit, but she is not a racist, nor has she taken advantage of people and made her money on the backs of the poor emotionally disturbed people who call her.
I have heard stories about her over the years that she could be quite the demanding, difficult, prima dona. And I do know there was a bit of nastiness that she tried to put a small business out of business because he had a certain magazine on his counter. And who could forget her dive into Orthodox Judaism where she took the bible seriously and felt that homosexuality is wrong. Before that, though, she was a staunch supporter of gays and lesbians and I heard with my own ears how she could never condemn 2 people who love each other to a life of loneliness. I think after the Orthodoxy got too strenuous for her, she returned to that opinion.
She is human everyone. She is imperfect just as all her listeners and critics. Just as you and me.
So here is the wisdom I have learned from Dr. Laura.
Being home with your children to raise them is the best thing you can do for them.
Husbands are easy, wives are difficult. Women control the relationship and when they take the best care of their husbands, they get everything they desire. (The caveat, pick the right person to marry)
Having children out of wedlock is a mistake.
Getting married, having children and getting a divorce is a mistake.
It would be a better USA if 1,000,000 babies a year weren't aborted.
When one marries, one needs to cleave to his/her spouse and leave the apron strings of his/her mother.
Kids are really cool, need love, love, love, and discipline. A strict schedule for kids isn't such a great thing. Have fun with your kids.
And my favorite, be your husband's girlfriend.
I told my husband I am sad that Dr. Laura is going out this way. She should have been praised by Women's groups because of her success as a public figure, a wife and a mother.
She lived the life she espoused and whether you like her or not, she had a lot of really good things to offer to the human condition.

Aversion Therapy

I believe in aversion therapy. Make something really nasty for someone, and they probably won't try it again. Though when I think about it, why would people become addicted to smoking when the first time a human inhales burning vegetable matter, the cough that follows is painful and very nasty. But I digress.
Did I raise my sonny boy with aversion therapy? I kind of didn't have to because his own personality style kept him mostly on the straight and narrow. It was more of a "natural consequences" type upbringing. I didn't want to tell my own kid "no, no, no." all day, so I would either quickly take something away from him, or let him find out on his own that it didn't feel good or would break or whatever. That may sound irresponsible on the surface, but it worked out quite well.
I do believe in a harsh voice rather than a soft one when a child is doing something wrong, especially a young child. Because the tone of voice helps them define good from bad choices. If a mom or dad is sweetly saying no to something wrong, and sweetly saying yes to the right thing, where's the boundary line.
Anyway, back to my first point. Years ago I was speaking to a mom who's son had a heart condition that kept him from doing any kind of strenuous activity. They had to get special permission blah blah blah from the school district so the kid wouldn't die on the track running laps or end up in the ER after doing some push ups. It was all very bureaucratic and a little scary. So one day she comes home with bags of potting soil and manure in the trunk of her car. The kid goes over to the trunk and lifts one of the bags out of the trunk and carries it to the backyard. She told him he's not supposed to do anything like that and he just shrugged. I told her I would have told him. "See that shovel over there? Go get it would you, and start digging your grave, cause that's where you're gonna end up." She was shocked at what I was telling her, but I thought it was quite clever.
Flash forward to this last weekend. Talking to another friend who has a young relative with a serious addiction to heroine. The young lady tried rehab, got clean for a little while, met some dude, and is heading off to another state to go live with him. I told my friend, "she's going to die." My friend said, "I can't even think of that. I just have to think one day at a time." I felt bad for my friend because she is so close to this young lady, and so frightened and frustrated by her.
After we hung up, what she told me sort of rolled around in my head. What do you do with a young woman who could have the world in a great way, and chooses to use lethal drugs and really bad behavior, instead? I told my hubby, "I think if I had a hold of that kid, I'd say, let's take a little ride." And we'd drive to a mortuary and buy a death plan, so that when her body arrived, everything would be in place. Then we'd drive to the cemetery and pick out a plot. I wouldn't laugh or shy away from it, or let her back out in any way. I would let her hold on to the paper work on the way home. Hubby wondered if that might work. Me, too.