My Sister's Bedside

I go silently up the stairs. My sister is sleeping with her head propped up on pillows. She's as thin as a stick of gum. I sit in the chair next to the bed, lean down and kiss her gently on her arm. Her eyes open and I tell her, "It's Debby." She says, "Can you believe this is happening?" I tell her "yes." She asks where she is. I tell her she's in her extra bedroom because she's getting a special bed today. She looks confused, then closes her eyes. I let her sleep. The medication has caused some type of twitching that can be gentle, or wake her up because it rocks her so hard. I watch over her, and see she is fairly calm. I hear she got a patch for a pain delivery system, and I am relieved. I was upset when I had been there the other day because her face was racked in a painful grimace.
I sat in the chair for a little while, then eyed the cozy looking love seat near the bed, and settled there. I felt like I might doze off, too, but my sister woke and asked me what was happening to her. I told her she is dying. "I really am," she said, then asked, "when?" I told her only God knows that, but if she felt her body, because she knows it so well, that she might be able to tell if she thought about it for awhile. My brother in law walked in and she said, "I like that Debby is telling me the facts."
Later she asked me why is this happening. I told her that everyone dies, that it's part of life. And I told her everyone has challenges, and this is hers. She looked at me silently for a little while, then closed her eyes.
My brother in law asked me if I would help him find something she could be buried in. For some reason today, there are no tears. How could I look at her dresses, hanging one by one in the closet, and not have any tears? I told my brother in law, I am in a state of grace today, and feel strong. Not yesterday.
When I went the third time in to see my sweet sister, she asked me to tell her what kind of sister she was and what I thought of her. When I write this, I smile. I told her we had fun growing up together. That we became best friends when she finally moved out on her own, that she helped me when I was in trouble, and she has been the greatest aunt to Sonny Boy. I asked her what she thought of me, and she told me she thought I was a very talented person and I underestimated myself. What a very clear and precise answer that was.