On today's MSN page there is a report about how love is just not enough for a marriage to last, and then listed all the factors that can screw up a marriage. It's funny, there is not one mention of choosing the right person. Isn't that the most important part of keeping a marriage together? One has to choose the right person, duh? I think I can say this with authority having chosen the wrong person the first time around. Which, according to this article, makes me an easy target for another divorce; I've been married once before.
Well, anyway, I did chose the wrong person the first time, but I didn't want to admit it. I ignored the warning signs. Never do that. Of course, we're human, and we make mistakes. So, I believe I learned from my mistakes and chose very carefully this second time. I made it my responsibility to choose correctly.
Maybe the point of the article is to help people make the right decision by putting down all the facts and statistics: You'll be less likely to divorce if you don't blend families, either you both smoke, or you don't, you have steady income and not much unemployment, and your less than 9 years in age difference. Use all of these tips and you'll never have to take personal accountability for getting divorced. After all, personal accountability is a concept that is completely absent, invisible, irrelevant in our lives. I suppose this article does give a road map to smart decisions, but it really seemed to avoid any references to people using their brains to make the right choices.
I think a huge reason our economic woes are here is because there is never any accountability for living beyond one's means because there is always "credit." And all the people who spend money they don't have and need to get out of "credit card debt" can blame the credit card companies and the banks for leading them there, not their burning desire to have something they can't afford. No personal accountability...it's everywhere.
It's the government's job to take care of me. It's the school's job to teach my child sex education and morals and values. It's the rich who need to pay for everything. It's always someone or something else that needs to fix this problem for me. Yikes.
Personal accountability is the key to a successful life. Take it.
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You are "spot on" with all your comments! I thought about the same things when I read that article....why not concentrate on picking the "right" mate, not just picking one and thinking, "well, if it doesn't work out, I can just get divorced"!
ReplyDeleteThe personal accountability issues ARE the problems with this economy. And bankruptcy makes it even easier because all your debt just "goes away" and you can start over....this is not reality. (Or it shouldn't be) People (and companies) have to be accountable for their decisions, good or bad.
Learning from your mistakes and making different choices is also big. Why do so many people ignore the signals that life is broadcasting to them? You made a different choice in your 2nd marriage.
ReplyDeleteA question....will you write about how you instilled these qualities in your son?