Saturday, February 19, 2011

Failure Rules?

Anticipation is the word that comes to me when the new season of American Idol starts up. This year especially, what with Simon gone and all. I really like the change. Steven Tyler, as strange looking as he is, and Jennifer Lopez are really enjoyable. Plus there were subtle changes in the tryouts that made for entertaining watching. I guess you could say I am an American Idol fan.
One of the best things to me about American Idol during the "live" part of the show, is the lack of hatred/pettiness/dissent/vulgarity/confrontation between contestants that can be found on some other reality type shows. (Well, omitting the Simon and Paula thing.) Unfortunately, during all the shows that lead up to the "Live" shows, the producers choose to put a lot of the emotionally embarrassing stuff in. It's especially profuse during Hollywood Week. When the camera lingers on someone in emotional melt down I scoff at the TV, "Quit your blubbering."
There's one irksome contestant, a skinny, unsightly young woman, that the camera just kept focusing on. Her trials and tribulations were the magnet for so much camera time, I kept wondering why? Why? When it was time for her solo, I thought she botched it so terribly that, Thank God, that would be the end of her. I was so wrong. When she was in a room of contestants that were either in or out, there she was in her neurotic glory alongside some of my favorites. NOOOOO!
Either they were out, or she was in! Reality TV sucks sometimes.
It made me think of my other favorite "Reality" shows. The powers that be think that watching people fail makes for good tv watching, i.e., great ratings. Do we as humans watching humans really love failure? Does watching losers makes us feel superior, and when the one outstanding last man standing wins, it makes it that much sweeter? What is their reasoning?
I know when I am watching the elimination judging on Project Runway, and one of the contestants is nice and the other is a bitch or worse, the nice one gets kicked off.
I know this has to be the producer's choice. Not only that, the challenges are so tough, they seem to incubate distress and failure. I don't watch Survivor, just the name alone implies it's gonna be a bumpy ride and everyone is going for it.
But Top Chef and Project Runway should be about creativity and implementation, not survivor skills. But that doesn't stop the producers from selecting the most excruciating challenges. Why can't they give the contestants and extra few hours to create and execute perfection? I think because they love failure. Too bad.
American Idol has its sight set on the perfect failure. That scrawny young woman.
Her buggy eyes, withered face and scraggly hair over rule her voice. I barely remember what she sounds like. And I am highly suspicious of why in the hell she was chosen with so many gracious, talented, good looking young contestants. I hope she isn't the thorn in my American Idol side the whole season. Yikes!

Friday, January 21, 2011

A Different Kind of Jewelry

As friends and family have learned, my mother in law has moved in with us. Believe it or not, this was my idea. I have said to myself and sometimes to other folks when the subject has come up, that I would have her here if that's what Hubby wanted. Well, that time has come.
She is very tiny and frail, having come to us from the hospital because she had a bout with pneumonia. Before that she lived by herself quite successfully on the independent side of a retirement community. We, coincidentally, were on the verge of moving her over to the assisted side because of certain age related memory issues. Now, mind you, she had started on medication to help her memory, but she would forget to take it, so...we had that, and some other goofy oddities that needed to be tended. She is 92.
So, on and off since she has been in our home, we have had honest conversations about her dying and her wishes about her remains. Since I have known her, the choice has always been cremation.
While I was rubbing her feet, I told her how my choice is to be turned into a diamond. I had heard about this idea several years ago, and I Googled it, and it has stuck! I even bought the heart shaped glass container I would like my diamond to sit in. No real muss or fuss, just put it on a nice windowsill somewhere and I will quietly shine when the sun hits. (Hopefully it will shine. I'm not quite sure of the quality a human body's ashes will make, but I think it's worth a try.)
Well, maybe it was the ecstatic joy of having her feet rubbed, but she got a big smile when I told her that could be done, and she said, "That sounds fun!" I agree.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Never Enough Jewelry

Hubby's wedding ring has been sitting in my jewelry box for about 22 years. We've been married almost 23 years. He doesn't like jewelry. It doesn't bother me that he doesn't wear it, I don't even think of it. He is so attached to me as his wife, I am completely secure in that respect. But, I cleaned out my jewelry box not long ago, and found unwanted, unused, broken gold, GOLD, GOLD ...the rage in getting cash cash cash, or in the case of my little local jewelry store, trade- in power for new Jewelry! I drool at that big chunk of gold that he doesn't wear. I wonder secretly, how much could I get for this golden delight?
I gently talk about his ring that has been sitting, unused, for lo these many years. He says he'll get it sized so he can wear it. I say, "but you'll take it off and leave it somewhere."
"No I won't," he says adamantly. "Hubby, you hate jewelry. You never wear a watch, and if you do, you leave it on your desk, in a restaurant, in your car, never does it stay on your wrist a full working day." He suddenly catches on. "You cannot have MY ring to turn into more jewelry."
Damn. That was really fast. "Wouldn't it be nice if I turned it into something that can be seen and appreciated instead of wasting away in a dark jewelry box?"
He immediately goes to get the ring.
"You don't even know where it is," I say. After rustling around in his top drawer for awhile he demands, "Where is it?"
In my jewelry box. He finds it and tries to slip it on his ring finger. It doesn't work, so he puts it on his pinky and says, "I'm going to wear it always, just like this."
"Babe, you'll loose it."
Then, in the midst of our sacred marital bedroom, he tells me, "You can't have my ring to get more jewelry; you have enough jewelry."
I said with complete astonishment , "Never, ever say that to a woman, never!" We did break out in laughter, but I was shocked and mortified. I told him, "telling me something like that is telling you that you've watched enough football!" He acted like he didn't understand the analogy.
But, I know he did.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Adrift at Sea

When I first started working on a cruise ship in 1982, I heard a joke from one of the crew. "What's the difference between a prison and a cruise ship? A ship can sink."
I wonder if that's how the passengers and crew of Carnival's Splendor feel since they've been adrift at sea, and now slowly being pushed by tug boats into the port of San Diego.
Not too long ago, on our Mediterranean cruise, something happened to the engine and we lost power for about 8 hours. The captain dropped the anchor, we were close to shore, so that was reassuring, the emergency generator ran several pieces of equipment, like the refrigerators, one of the elevators, and the crew went out of their way to please us. The outage went right before we left for the evening meal, so as they informed us there would be no hot food, we said, "oh bring us a cheese plate." Voila. "How about some shrimp cocktail." "A little pate?" And of course, the wine was flowing freely.
Later that night we went to another couple's stateroom and opened a bottle of champagne. They had a flashlight. I always bring flashlights when I travel now.
The next day, even though the power was back on, we had to spend many hours running a course in the bay to prove to the authorities that we were sea worthy. The kitchen crew brought out all the gear to have a huge barbecue, and we're talking lamb, steak, pork, chicken, lobster, jumbo shrimp. There was caviar and salads and all the desserts you could see for miles. It was a ship of 500 passengers, and an 18 hour delay. We were fine. We missed the day in Monte Carlo, but when we got there at dusk, the captain sailed into the harbor and gave us a little golden- lit tour of the beautiful hills and city of that port. We also got a $1000 refund. Not bad.
I think the experience of a ship with over 4,000 passengers and many inside cabins and many hours at sea without electricity is something other than charming. Free drinks, that's good. But honestly, Pop Tarts and Spam? Canned crab? Oh, I hear croissants. That would just not be the vacation one bargained for. The inside cabin would be the worst. There is emergency lighting in the hallway, so if the door is open, there's some relief. But there's no air flowing at all. The toilets flush, Thank God, but no hot water for a shower. No light to see where anything is.
The cruise ship I worked on many years ago lost power for maybe a minute, and I was in the massage room (ships' masseuse) and it was pitch black. We were adrift. But really, only seconds. The worst thing that happened, and I wonder if this is happening on the Splendor, the enzymes for the "sewage" on the ship became
ineffective, and a few days later most of the ship smelled like the sewer. That was over twenty five years ago, and it was a 40 year old ship at the time. Maybe technology has changed and will save those passengers from further humiliation.
Will these passengers want to take Carnival up on their offer for another free cruise?

Monday, November 8, 2010

Catty, Fair Fighting, ooh, don't read this!

When I was married to the first husband, I admit it, we went to a marriage counselor. The details are fuzzy. I think I went by myself the first time and felt pretty good after the session. I remember that. Then the first husband came with me. The counselor, in his wisdom, explained "fair fighting" to us. Nice concept, a bit oxymoronish, but not bad. So we start, the first husband and I, kind of like an open hand when one is learning a new card game, with me saying what my complaints were about "him." The counselor taught us terms, and non editorial phrases, so as to stay objective and productive. I didn't get far. Somehow, when it was my turn, it all turned into the first husband's turn, and it was I who needed to change. Mind you, I never had a chance to really air my problem. This was the effect of the first husband on everyone: he was the righteous. He of the smoking-pot-and-staying-up-til-6am-and-not-having-a-job-kind. Those were the things that bothered me, but somehow my requests for him having an income was not fair to bring up during the "fair fighting." I showed them both. I got a divorce. I did keep the fair fighting concept somewhere in the back of my head. Because if done right, isn't that just a good debate?
So fast forward to this divisive time of life if one follows politics. I have had two long debates on facebook on the California Ballot Measure Prop 23. I have mentioned it, and supported it, and really wanted it to pass. I have 2 relatives who wanted it to fail. One just countered my arguments with his own opinions and articles he's found. The other started out by being sarcastic about my facebook status update that had nothing to do with Prop 23, but a little "spiritual" saying I believe in, but he linked it to Prop 23 because my avatar was Yes on 23. He said I should move to Texas because it's God's Country There. I agreed with him, and I guess it wasn't a spicy enough answer because he responded with yeah and there's lots of oil there, too.
I told him I love oil and all the things that it brings to us. Then we kind of went back and forth about God and who is God, and what are we doing here, sounding like he knew exactly why humans are here, "to heal the earth." Then it finally got to the fact that he said some of the sarcastic things because of my avatar. "I was prompted by your avatar." Was that fair fighting? I don't think so because he was "prompted" by something outside of himself, and not taking personal responsibility. We both were decent to one another, he just seemed to take my innocent, spiritual saying to such a dark place.
Someone he is heavily related to really got mad at me because I reiterated the "false report" about Obama spending 200 million dollars a day on his trip to India, etc. She was livid. Had she read a little farther down, I questioned it after someone asked me about it. But she didn't. When she's fired up, her arguments are rude. Really rude. Can you divorce a relative? Does she need to learn fair fighting? After she told me I was related to the conservative but crazy Michelle Bachmann (she spelled the name wrong) I did probably cross over to the unfair side of the fight...I told her she was becoming bitter like her father...which, is true, he was bitter, and that she needs to lighten up. Then I told her please don't bug me anymore, then I emailed her and asked her to be nicer to me, and that in the last 2 years she has said some pretty mean things, and she needs to apologize and to not be mean to me anymore. She emailed me back. She said she was sorry if what she said seemed intentionally mean. But she feels that I am rude and abrasive to her, and she will never change and I should look in the mirror and I should be patient.
I emailed her back. I said I never said the rude things to her that she has said and done to me (which I think hanging up on someone is rude....believe me, I've done it and I mean to be rude.) But I never hung up on her, ever, or related a crazy lady to her. (Well, her father, but he really is her relative) The only thing I do is pick on Obama. She takes it personally, he is her savior, her hero, a god. Obama is not any of those things to me. I think he really did spend a lot of taxpayers money in India, and I'm not afraid to say it! The Whitehouse never said how much, they just said 200 million and all the other figures were over exaggerated. Stupid Robert Gibbs. Is that unfair fighting? I digress.
Will the rift ever heal? Is this blog unfair fighting. She doens't read it, so I guess it's OK.


Monday, September 20, 2010

A Concrete Yes on 23

Proposition 23 is important to me because if AB32, The Final Solutions Act, is fully implemented, many many jobs are in jeopardy. AB 32 is California's own little "global warming" intervention.
Of course, now that the White House wants us to call it "climate disruption," there must be something wrong with global warming. Anyway, the California legislators along with Arnold Schwarzenegger's wife think California is a leader and everything we do all the other states will follow. They won't follow this one. Why? Because businesses are leaving California because they can't afford the fees and fines and upgrades that AB32 will impose. The other states will welcome business and don't tax, fine, punish and otherwise repulse businesses, and will be happy to have everything good that business brings. What are the things business brings: Employment and a huge tax base. What are states screaming about and lacking at every turn? Tax base. Tax base equals revenue in the state coffers. No one has any money, right? Businesses employ people, businesses create revenue, revenue creates taxes, taxes pay for lots of things.
Now I have liberal friends who say it doesn't matter that unemployment is at an all time high, there will never be a good time to make the environment healthy. Prop 23 does not create pollution, it only stops the terrible regulation on industry, so that we won't loose jobs jobs jobs.
My liberal friend used the no smoking ban in privately owned businesses to make a point. He said that it did kill his mother in law's bowling alley for 2 years, but then the business came booming back. So, that justifies punishing, taxing and fining businesses for their carbon footprints. How many businesses went out of business in those 2 years? How many people were laid off? Would you like the business you're in to be really really bad for 2 years so that you're laid off? Plus, this is just so different. It effects every business and every home. It justifies raising energy rates so that "clean energy" is subsidized, and every family and individual home dweller will be charged those extra fees. Every dollar taken from you will be another dollar sucked out of the economy. And for what purpose? The people who created the bill even admit it will do nothing to lessen global warming/climate disruption. My hubby is in commercial construction. They use lots of concrete. The making of concrete gives off lots of carbon dioxide. So, companies that manufacture concrete will either have to charge lots more to supply concrete for construction, or they will leave the state. What sounds better? None of it.
Prop 23 does not take away any environmental protections. It just does not allow AB 32 committees to fine and tax businesses. And by the way, how many new tax payer committees are going to be created by AB 32? People who are on the tax payer's back who will receive benefits for themselves and their families for life that you, in the private sector will be paying for? The more regulation, the bigger the government, the bigger the government, the bigger the taxes, the less everyone has to spend, the worse the economy gets.
Don't punish the private sector of California. Yes on 23!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Spoiler Alert!

After a thorough analysis of the movie I watched yesterday, I have come to this conclusion:
The Switch is a pleasantly pleasing facetious commentary on all sorts of liberal minded societal issues. I'll tell you some really good examples.
Kassie realizes that her biological clock is ticking down. She tells her best friend Wally that she really wants a kid, and who needs a man? She just needs sperm. She poo poos a sperm bank and its coldly technical procedures, and wants to find her own man. So, who does she find? A married man who needs the money because his associate professorship doesn't pay enough!
At the party where the sperm donation was taking place, the doctor for Kassie was smoking pot, and Debbie (Kassie's best friend) said, "he is very progressive."
Wally, because Debbie gave him some sort of herbal relaxant that he mixed with booze, messes up the sperm donation and decides that he needs to donate himself. He quickly finds a magazine with Diane Sawyer on the cover, and figures that should do the trick.
Sometime later, Kassie declares she's pregnant and has to move to be closer to her folks so her kid can have a good upbringing in a nice safe state like Minnesota.
Kassie realizes that family is important. She has no idea why her 6 year old son collects frames.
He doesn't put new pictures in of his family. He makes up stories that the people in the frames are his family.
Why do movies have such bad mother's in them? I guess it wouldn't make a good story if there were good mothers. She becomes a good mother because she realizes that her son really needs his father.
She came to the right conclusion.